Truth, yeah right! Dare!
by Chi Cullen
Summary: Do you people know how many Truthordare fics there are for twilight? Add one more people, 'cause I love them all! Now you tell me how you like mine. Three cheers if you suck at reviews! Hiphiphorray, hiphip...Oh, for God's sake, just read it!
1. Chapter 1

Okay, I love reading fanfics about the Cullen crew (Bella and Hales included) and a nice 'clean' game of truth-or-dare decided to write my own. I give credit to **vampiress225**, **musical-gerbil, Golden Dawn **and MANY others. If you have a twilight truth or dare please, please, PLEASE send me your name in a review so that I can A) read it, and B) suggest it to people who read this (chances are that I have read it, the three at the top were ones I have read in the past few days). Just know that not all of this is going to be original ideas, but they are going to be changed.

I obviously don't own twilight, as evidenced by the craptastic story ahead of your poor, poor eyes.

Oh, and Ms. Sillywilly, you are my idol!

On to the craptastic story, yall!

…………………………………………………………………………………………

"Okay, everybody, it's Friday!" Alice squealed.

"Very good, Alice! Eighty years is all it took to teach her the days of the week." Emmett snorted.

We all knew all too well that Friday nights were Alice's designated torture time-game night.

"What did you have in mind, Love?" Jasper inquired. I am pretty sure that you could hear the dust fall on the piano as the room went silent. Since when did Jasper call Alice 'Love?'

"I think we're having a bad influence on them, Darling." Edward squeezed my shoulder, collecting scattered chuckles and a gentle conspicuous kick from Alice.

"Terribly sorry, what did you have in mind, _Mrs_. _Hale_?" Jasper corrected himself sarcastically.

"If we are done mocking my relationship with my husband…Truth-or-dare" She smiled wickedly.

Oh, Hell no!

"Pardon me?" I gulped.

"Bella, calm down. I won't let the mean vampires hurt you." Edward chuckled.

"Easy for you to say, you've never played truth or dare!" I squeaked.

"Oh, come now, I am sure it's not _that_ bad." He sighed.

I shot him a look that clearly said 'we are playing with four vampires and a human, and a deranged Alice, here!'

Now he looked worried.

"Come on, you are all such babies! Will you suck it up and come sit in the living room?" Alice pleaded.

We walked single-file into the next room, all knowing that we were damned further than anything 'vampirism' could do.

"Who's going first?" Alice was bouncing on the edge of the sofa, Jasper sending her wave after wave of calm, to no results.

Then Emmett spoke. "I say the oldest goes first."

"Emmett you retard!" Rosalie smacked him. "Why the Hell would you _request_ Edward going first? Are you trying to kill us all?!"

Alice ignored the indignant blond. "Okay, Edward. You go."

Edward had to speak a little louder than usual, due to Rosalie's continued bellowing. "Rosalie, hey Rosalie. YO! ROSALIE!"

I snorted…Yo?

"What? Oh-" When Rosalie realized that she was being shouted to by the man with the power to ruin her life, she immediately stopped shouting. Instead, she fluently strung together words that I didn't know were curse words, but there you go.

Edward clasped his hands around my 'innocent' ears.

"If you're done poisoning the mind of my Angel, truth or dare?" Edward requested.

I couldn't help but giggle, my mind was being poisoned by cursing? I had a feeling that by the end of this game, if words were poison, we would all die, immortal or no.

"Fu…Dare. I am not scarred of you!" Her previous cursing session, along with her eyes, disagreed.

"Oh, you should be." Edward laughed manically.

"What the Hell, Edward?" I slapped him out of his "muahahaing." Unfortunately, my hand paid the price. I gave off a curse or two of my own. The whole room gaped. "What?" I shrugged. At least Edward no longer resembled _fictional_ vampires.

"Okayyyyyyyy," Rosalie broke the silence. "Edward? What is my dare?"

"Dare, oh, right. I dare you to empty your wardrobe and give it all to the homeless shelter." He announced proudly.

"WHAT?!?!?!!?!?!?" Rosalie shrieked, and then started cursing again.

"And you can't back out of it!" Edward shouted.

"Why, why, why, why, God, why?" Rosalie paced.

"Hey, Edward, oh brilliant one? What the Hell is she supposed to wear?" Emmett cut in.

"Um, she can go shopping?" He suggested.

"Edward, you shall perish, damn you! Giving her a reason to shop? Are you friggen kidding me?"

"MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Edward howled, earning slaps from the four other vampires in the room.

I fell off the couch laughing at the dumbfounded look on his innocent face. I am going to miss that face, Rosalie is going to tear it off!

"Come on, Rose," Alice grabbed her. "It's okay, you can kill the mean, demonic Edward later, but I'll help you get all of the stuff out.

……………………………………………………………

Fifty-three minutes later, we were all back in the living room, Rosalie still cursing Edward to the most inner circles of the firing pits of Hell and all of its Hellish wonders.

"Okay, Rose. It's your turn. No death or high scale war, 'kay?" Alice sniffed.

"Wait, I _can't _dare Emmett to declare war on Canada?" She groaned.

"NO!"

"Fine." She looked around the room, glaring at each of us in turn. "Bella, truth or dare?"

Oh, CRAP!

"Truth, Bella, Truth!" Edward whispered urgently.

Of all the people to want me to choose truth, it was the one person with whom I had a mile high plethora of secrets. There was no way on earth I was prepared to share those secrets with this room. And besides, what could they possibly do to the little human girl?

"Dare." I said.

"Nooooo!" Edward moaned. "Why, Bella, why?"

Wait, now it was starting to sink in. I had just accepted 'dare' from Rosalie, the queen of revenge. WHY THE HELL DID I DO THAT?

"Okay, Bella. We are going to be taking a little trip into town for this one."

Oh crap. "Um, why would that be, Rosalie?" I asked wearily.

"Because, my no-longer-so-innocent little human, you are going to get dressed in an outfit of my choice, from Alice's closet, and we are taking you clubbing!"

"I'm sorry, WHAT?!" I screamed.

"Oh, you heard me!"

"What happened to truth, Bella? Why would you do this to me?" Edward moaned.

"To you? I have to dress up like Rosalie, and go clubbing!"

………………………………………………………………………..

Somehow, Rosalie and Alice had managed to stuff me into a black, slinky tube-top, a miniature mini-skirt (you know, the kind that comes ON A FREAKING BARBIE DOLL in toy stores), high-healed boots (black and leathery, of course), and too much make-up to use on every girl in school individually, let alone on my red little face.

What would Edward do to them when he saw what they had done to me? Oh, this meant war!

Alice had to carry me down-stairs so that my skirt would stay on.

"Alice why the Hell do you have these cloths in the first place?" I prompted as she set me down next to the front door, beyond which, stood a soon-to-be murderous Edward. Oh how he would avenge me!

She and Rosalie exchanged a sheepish glance, and then both fell over laughing.

"What the frick?" I eyed them both suspiciously. God only knows-or wants to know-what the Hell Alice and Rosalie would be doing with clothing twenty sizes too small for even little Alice, or why the memory seemed to be painfully hilarious. Better question, WHY MUST THEY FORCE ME INTO IT NOW?

Hope yee all liketh it…eth. Again, review, review, review! Thanks, Chi


	2. Chapter 2

Okay, my beloved reviewers requested it, so here is the second chapter!!!

I walked out the door to where I knew my Edward was waiting, and was about to KILL Rosalie and Alice for doing this to me. I could not wait!

At first, he didn't realize that I had appeared, he was on his small, silver cell-phone, apparently talking to Carlisle. He and Esme had escaped this Friday by attending some sort of doctor's convention. Lucky!

Then, he hung up without a salutation, because he was too busy staring at me, assessing the damage with wide eyes… Wait, why did his eyes glaze over as he looked me up and down? That could mean nothing good-or at least nothing bad for Alice and Rosalie. But why? How could something so bad be made so much worse? Now even Edward wasn't on my side!

"Ahem?" I cleared my throat.

He shook himself out of his trance. "Oh, sorry. Um, we should get going."

"WHAT? Is that it? We're just going to go without a fight?" I begged.

"Well, um, it is a dare, and, uh, you can't say no, so what's the point of arguing?" I could tell that he was just searching for reasons.

"Do you really want to have to hear the mind of every boy at whatever club we go to when they see me like this?" I protested. There, that one should get him thinking.

"Oh, he can just block them out." Rosalie came out then, waving off my defense like dust with a swiffer. HEY, WAIT; I was the _dust _in my OWN analogy! That is so messed up!

"BUT-"

"Get in the car, Bella." Rosalie ordered.

"At least with your dare, you get to go shopping, now!" I spat.

"Oh, so do you." Alice cut in. We all looked puzzled before she clarified. "Your shopping just has to take place in the pharmacy section of the nearest Walmart, my dear, sweet, innocent Bella."

My jaw dropped, and I flushed deep crimson. Edward was entirely too close to killing her. Maybe he would after all! We all knew what Alice meant by that, and cursed Emmett to the fiery pits of heck for commenting on it that one night. Never, I repeat, NEVER give a vampire an unlimited bar to have his choice from-apparently, even _they_ can get drunk, and when Emmett gets drunk, all Hell breaks loose. Actually, we might be doing just that, I still had no clue where we were going.

It took the combined effort of four vampires-Jasper was already in the driver's seat-to stick me into the BMW, and I am proud to say that I did not go down without a fight, but they did manage to strap me in. Damn Edward and his dazzling eyes! And oh the things Alice can do with a red scarf, a bobby-pin, and blood-red lipstick. I swear to never fight her again when armed with said seemingly ordinary objects.

Forty minutes later, we were in front of a familiar bar in Port Angeles. The same bar where I had found Edward's voice so long ago, Just down the street, I could see the McDonald's and in the other direction was the fateful movie-theater. I would never forget this place, and something told me that the rest of them wouldn't let me forget anything after tonight.

I recognized the song, blaring out of the speakers as we entered; it was Discotech, by Young Love. ((A/N, sorry, I am listening to the song while I am typing, but it fits! Not the lyrics, but just the beat is AWSOME!! I love Young Love!))

My hips immediately started swaying. Whoa! They've never done that before, why start now? The song then changed to Miracle, by Cascada ((Yes, I am listening to that now, and incase you're wondering, Here in Your Arms, by Hellogoodbye is up next too, I LOVE HELLOGOODBYE!))

It didn't help when Alice handed me a drink, either.

"Trust me; you'll need it with the next song." She warned. Never defy Alice. This should be interesting.

I have no clue what I drank, but it was fruity, and I had never had alcohol before, so the effects hit almost in the same instant that the DJ decided to play 'Hellogoodbye'. That was my cue. Thank God I would not remember any of this in the morning, but I got up and-in the middle of the dance floor, started dancing. This was more than hip-swaying, it was flat out dancing.

Edward chuckled, before joining me. Maybe clubbing with the Cullens wasn't so bad.

When the chorus hit, I got way too far into the music, because I found myself on the bar. That's right, you read it, ON the bar, dancing to 'Here in Your Arms.' I was far too drunk to coherently recognize the number of wolf-whistles emitting from the crowd. It might not have been so bad, if not for what I was wearing.

Edward was on the floor, rolling with laughter, along with the other Cullens. I just kept on dancing. Alcohol, I learned, is a no-no. What were they thinking, I wasn't even twenty-one yet! Oh, not good. I didn't even know how to dance! I would regret this, wouldn't I?

After they started playing 'The Killers', I passed out from excitement, under the confines of intoxication. I mean really, who plays 'When You Were Young' at a bar? Seriously, people!

I woke up a while later. Outside of the Cullen house.

"She's awake, thank God!"

"Okay, she didn't die."

"HA! You owe me twenty!"

"Bella, Sweetheart, how are you?" I pealed out Edward's voice from the rest.

"Ow, what happened?" I grabbed my head, which was on fire, from my eyes, to the back of my neck.

"You got drunk and passed out, Love." I could tell he was restraining from laughing out loud.

"Oh."

"It was actually very entertaining!" He burst out laughing, closely followed by the rest of my 'family.'

"Oh yeah? Well, it is my turn, right?" I had a wicked plan in mind.

"Y-yes." He gasped through laughs.

"Okay, EDWARD! Truth or dare?"

Everyone was suddenly silent, staring from me to Edward, then back again.

"You wouldn't." He shook his head.

"I just did, Baby." I smirked, receiving snickers and snorts from our audience.

"Fine, dare. I know you, and there is nothing you can do to me in a simple game that I can regret as thoroughly as you will regret getting drunk when we show you video!"

VIDEO?!?! This meant war!

"Alright, I'll do a kiddy dare, gosh, when did you get mean? I dare you to go into town and thrust open the doors to church during service, and shout 'praise the Lord' for no apparent reason. Then stand in silence for a total of two minutes, doors still open!" This should be good.

"Peshaw!" He spat.

It took another ten minutes to get to church. But it was worth the wait. The entire parking lot was full, better!

"Having second thoughts?" I tested.

"You wish." And with that, he swiftly placed his lips on mine before dashing out of the car.

We were all quick behind him, hiding in the bushes nearby. That's when I spotted the casket. A limo covered in black and flowers stood nearby.

I gave Edward the stop signal, but he misinterpreted it.

"Oh, come on, Bella. I am not afraid of a simple dare."

I pointed to the limo, but the only one who saw was Alice, who cursed, and started helping me try to stop him.

"Will you two cowards get over it?" Oh, coward, was I? Who had gotten drunk at a bar at the age of eighteen, dressed like a-

He threw the doors open, shouting the words he was supposed to. "Praise the Lord…" then he too noticed the large crowd of blackly clothed people inside. He cursed, making a woman near the back pass out.

"MERIEL!" Several people shouted.

"Oh my God! I am so sorry!"

The priest's face at the use of the Lord's name in vein was priceless. He looked like he too would need a heart transplant.

I stood up.

"Okay, Honey, that's enough for one night. Let's go." I nearly had to drag him to the car; all he did was stand and stare in shock.

Okay, hope you all liked it, and sorry about all the music references, but this is what happens when you listen to Yahoo-music while typing. So, tell me how you liked it. I had a lot of fun writing it!!3


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